Saturday, June 9, 2012

Catchup by RW

okay, I never told you about my experiences with spongebob. Here they are, although it is pretty much a novel.

The first experience I had with him was with mom as the culprit. She casually laid down on my bed one day to talk with me and snuck spongebob into my covers while I wasn't paying attention. I didn't find him until later that night. As I crawled into bed, I felt something hard, cold, and square. What was this thing in my bed. I grabbed my cell phone and shone the light on it...Spongebob...  Well, I wasn't going to keep him, no way was I going to be the one that had him for a long time. So I snuck downstairs, into GJW's room and placed him in a pair of white socks, which I then placed at the top of his pile, certain that he would pick that pair the next day, and went back to sleep with a content sneaky smile on my face.

Unfortunately my plan was foiled, as GJW so subconsciously set that pair of socks aside...day after day after day. My plan was taking too long. Fortunately for me, another opportunity was showing itself. It was GJW's birthday and he was out of the house. I snuck down to his room, grabbed Spongebob from the socks that had been tossed aside, and came back upstairs. I placed it in a shirt folded inside the gift bag on the table. When GJW went to try his shirt on, he was greeted by the creepy little fellow.

The second experience I had was by the genius plan of mom again, although it didn't go quite as she thought it would. She placed it in my scripture bag, thinking I would find it at church on Sunday and that it would be really funny, but my stumbling across him happened in quite a different way... See, what happened, well, I guess I should go way back to before any of this even took place; it has to do with an ingrained...obsession? Compulsion? I'm not sure which. See, I like my outfits to match from head to toe. And I was wearing this shirt see, and I just had to have the bright magenta colored socks that match it so well, nothing would suffice. I was already for the day, from head to uh, ankles, and we were kind of in a hurry because we were headed to Logan for a dance competition. Well this started the search for my socks. They weren't in my dresser and they weren't in my laundry. Well LW also has bright socks so I thought maybe she had them. I went down to her room and checked her drawer. Just in case she wore them, I searched her laundry too. I even checked the mismatch pile, but to no avail. Where were they? I had all but given up, and then I realized something else... My engagement ring was not on my finger. 

Well forget the socks, where's my ring? I was pretty sure that I put it on, but it wasn't there. Maybe I didn't... Nope, not on my nightstand. Okay, time to start backtracking. I checked the bathroom, I checked the mismatch basket in the laundry room, I checked my dresser drawers, I checked my laundry basket, I checked my bed. Nope. I went downstairs and checked LW's drawers and her laundry. Nope not there either. Where could it be? Well, I put it on the nightstand in the dark, maybe I missed and it fell on the floor. I checked the floor and the boxes near it. My scripture case was on the floor next to my bed too, and I checked there. Oh my, what is this? My socks! Oh yeah, I remember! I wore them to play the organ on Sunday. There was something else in there too...Spongebob... Clever Mom, very clever. I stuck him in my pocket and continued my search for my ring.

By this time Mom recognized the frustrated/confused look on my face and as I told her that my ring was missing, she got up and immediately began to help me search. I decided to backtrack again, mom checking in my room, me going downstairs. I opened LW's sock/whites drawer and carefully shook out every item of clothing in there. Nope, not there. Perhaps, maybe, it just might be in the closet, so I began to check there too. I carefully picked up every piece of dirty laundry and shook them out. I found something shiny. Phew! I found it! The ring was found. So my searching for socks became searching for a ring, in which case I found the ring, the socks, and a bonus, just like in a cereal box, Spongebob.

Well, with that catastrophe solved and me looking absolutely definitely overly matched from top to bottom, I began plotting my next move. I knew I wanted to get LW or Mom, and I was pretty sure how I wanted to do it. I would carefully watch them and when one got up to go into the bathroom, I would follow them, without being seen, and place it on the bathroom sink while they were in the stall. Perfect.

Then, I realized an equally great opportunity had fallen at my feet. I was out in the hall talking to CMH on the phone when I saw LW enter the locker room with her dance bag. I paused my conversation with CMH and quietly followed her into the locker room. The locker room was set up with a corner you have to turn, which then opened up to three or four aisles of lockers in a line with a bench running along the bottom of them. I quietly snuck into the locker room and peeked around the corner. LW wasn't in the first aisle. I snuck over to the next one and peeked around...nope, not there either. I finally found her as I peeked around the last corner, clear on the other end of the long aisle of lockers. I patiently waited and when she had her head turned the other way, I placed Spongebob on the bench staring in her direction and quickly, but quietly, scooted out the door. I went back to my conversation with CMH and told him what I just did.

When LW was done changing, she came out of the locker room and saw me standing there on the phone. She walked over to me and smiled, pulling Spongebob out of her pocket. We both started laughing as she told me that she heard me come in and thought it was rather strange that whoever came in was being so quiet. She started to make more noise hoping that whoever else was in there would know they weren't alone. Pretty soon other girls started to come in and it wasn't quite so awkward in there. When she was done getting dressed, she packed up her stuff, and began to walk out the door. That's when she saw him, staring at him so contently at the end of the bench. She walked straight ahead until she was parallel to him, and then slowly  bent down to a level where she was able to reach him, at which time she quickly grabbed him and continued to walk out. April came rolling around and I was ready to come back to school.

I thought I was done with Spongebob, at least for quite awhile. Oh, but little did I know. It turns out that once when CMH was visiting, Spongebob was just sitting on the Counter. CMH is a very "take action" kind of guy and seized this opportunity when he saw it. He took Spongebob and began to plan what he would do. One night when CMH came to pick me up for a date, he casually asked if any other roommates were home. I told him my roommate Trudie was and then went back to my room to grab a jacket. While I was back there, he called Trudie out and began to talk with her. I didn't think anything of it because CMH is friends with all of my roommates. I came back out and the two of us went on our date. When I came back, I got ready for bed and just hopped right in, thinking everything was as it usually is. 

In the morning, my alarm went off and I wasn't ready to get up yet, so I turned it off and rolled over onto my stomach, putting my face in my hands. A little while later, I decided I better get up and as I lifted my head to do so, I saw Spongebob. At first it didn't completely register in my mind that he was real and I put my head back down to try to rub the sleep out of my eyes. Then it hit me. I lifted my head and there he was, staring straight at me with that creepy smile of his. I was so confused. I grabbed him and jumped out of bed and began interrogating every person I saw. The first roommate I saw was Trudie. I asked her if she put him there and she smiled and said yes, that CMH had given it to her last night and asked her to put it on my bed. After we left, she then went in my room and set him on the center of my pillow. I went to sleep never knowing that he was there until the morning. I chuckled and explained Spongebob to her. I ended up telling all of my roommates sometime during the day. 

That night When CMH came over, I told him he was clever and got me good. Somebody wanted to know what I was talking about so I began to explain it to them and wanted to show her the little creep. However, when I went to get him, he was no longer there. I immediately thought it was CMH who had taken him, thinking that he was the only one in on the game. He toyed with me for a long time,   never telling whether or not he really had it. Before the night was over though, he made it clear that he was not the one with Spongebob. Frustrated that I had lost him, I began to get ready for bed. I went back to the bathroom to brush my teeth and as I opened my drawer, there he was. One of my roommates had decided to join in the fun and placed him there when I was completely unaware. I got Spongebob'ed Twice in the same day!

I'm now waiting for the opportune moment to get CMH back. Spongebob is next to my bed and greets me every morning and reminds me to do something. Don't worry, he is safe. He's just been out of the game for a while. RW

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